Mailbag - cease and desist letters

Wally is still recovering from his weekend, so we're dipping in the mailbag today. Two letters that Wally's co-benefactors received after beginning Wally's blog commenced:

#1:
I regret to inform you that Wally has hired me as his attorney. As you may know the term " monster " is not perceived as an accolade beyond the Boston City limits. Your characterization my client is false, scurrilous and defamatory has damaged his worldwide reputation as one cool dude. We will be serving you with the appropriate papers in the near future ( Generous settlements gratefully accepted). Faithully yours, Oliver Wendell [NAME WITHHELD].

#2:
As chair of the history department at Red Stocking University, I would like to inform you that I will be an expert witness in the suit aforementioned. My research on the historical uses and connotations of monster ethnicity shows clearly that monsters in the past have suffered severe de facto discrimination in every western society, except the Land of Oz. To place Mr. Wally in this category subjects him to severe economic, political, and civil rights injuries in our society. I suggest you find another way to characterize Mr. Wally that removes him from this much-maligned social group. Yours truly, Dr. Ima Neocon Airhead

Wally's response: how about those Steelers?